If you’re in Deutschland this fall, be sure to check out the world famous Oktoberfest.  While there, you can start with a batzerl of beer, and if you’re in a generous mood could even offer to aufstöin to a friend.  As you make your way around the taverns and beer tents , you may have to perform some aufmandeln, especially if many a bierdimpfe are taking up all the seats.  If you do manage to find a seat, be careful not to drink too much or you’ll have to bieseln and risk losing your hard-won seat.  Make sure to button up the taubnschlog on your lederhosen when you’re done though, otherwise you’ll get pegged as a definite rauschada, or worse a moosbummerl.

You’re sure to run into a lot of dandschig women with big gaudinockerln. With any dusl you’ll do some obandeln or fuaßln with her, and get to take off her dirndl later.  Be careful she isn’t the gschbuusi of an uaviech, though.  If her guy has lots of irxnschmoiz and tells you to zupf de, you may be wise to offer to settle your differences with an oabischwoam, instead of trying to duke it out; fill up a boot with some beer, but make sure it isn’t blembe. If you win, make sure you don’t get labeled a großkopfada or people may call you a bazi, and you’ll be a zsammgsuffana for the rest of the fest.

Whatever the case, you’re going to need a lot of diridari if you plan on getting fetznrausch, eating lots of fleischpflanzl and riesnbrezn, drinking until all the noagerl is gone, and still making it through the festival in one piece.  To complete the ultimate Oktoberfest experience make sure you come with a gamsbart or other Oktoberfest hat, a must for any true Oktoberfest participant.

You can find all your supplies and more at OktoberfestHaus.com.

(The author of this post apologizes to any German speakers for the grammatical errors contained in this post.  All words come from the dictionary at http://www.oktoberfest.de/en/lexikon/en and the author does not have the necessary grasp of the German language to conjugate verbs.  Feel free to call him damisch if you wish!)